Well times may be gray but i must move on cause when times are hard you just gonna make due with what you got.
So with that out the way how have you guys been? Hopefully great^^ well as for me i'm trying to get my plans together with the team so we can get our name on the map.
But thats it for me so good night fellas,
Mellow
Today Me-ae told me the it would be a long time before her and i hook up in the open. When i heard this i simply wanted to erase all memory of her so i could get rid of all this hopeless wonder that held nothing but disappointment at the end of the light. Love makes you do silly things and maybe thats why i'm still waiting around for a new outcome but even that seems slim.
So what can i do..?
Nothing at all. If i want to be with her i'll have to wait a total of 1,000 days without seeing one hair of her...yup thats an actual fact. With all this stress i haven't even been able to eat (2 days and counting) i'm mostly tired and all moody now -sigh- I'm 19 years of age why do i have to wait 1,000 days to see my girl *shakes head* its kitty talk man....plain kitty talk.
What will happen within 3 years?
will i even be around?
If wasn't being able to see my chick wasn't good enough today i didn't even get to talk to her *laughs a bit* how lovely is that huh? Its so hard to take sometimes to tell the truth and most of my friends believe that its too much stress for someone my age. They tell me that in the end all this just isn't worth the suffering that I'm going through and that i should get myself together instead of being torn about by some girl who doesn't even have the power to see me.
But what would you do for someone you love?
Right now my heart is in a million pieces and my heart just doesn't know what to do anymore, you see i have fought many wars but this time i couldn't rise to victory no matter how hard i tried. Do you know how it feels not being able to see your other? that person who you can't live without even for a second.....it feels like a bullet ripping your soul from your chest.
Its like a pain i never felt before....
I have never been so helpless before in my life. Everything i had in my head has turned to dust and blew away with the last bit of joy that i had left safe within my fairy tale of a world. My close pal Keith talked to me today saying that the war i was up against could not be defeated and that the outcome would always be a broken heart on my end of the rope. He looked at me for a moment then told me that all i could do was leave or wait until she was free and continue to take the blows that pounded so harshly against my bitter heart.
How lovely..?
Even if i tell him he is wrong one fact still remains:
His girl is here.
And my isn't.
And for reasons that make no valid sense at all and yes i think...its unfair....its cruel..its torment...its hell..its misery...its utter complete agony but..what can i do huh?! nothing! nothing nothing!
I have gone too far to come back now....either way i go will lead in pain..if i leave I'll be crushed for life and if i stay I'll suffer without knowing when it'll end so whats the point in trying to protect myself any longer?
*covers face*
Why did i have to be face with such problems? What did i do for this to happen...damn just tell me so i can fix it.
Why me?
Mellow
Stressful
.
Well today started off to a real bad days as i found out how helpless i am in living a normal life these days (sigh)like no matter how hard i try i am always going to be faced with walls that prevent light. In times like these the only thing i can count on is my board, the only item which i hold dear and have say over. Anything else is asking too much i guess...
Lucky aren't i *weak smile*
=But onto other things=
After the downfall Lopez called me and we hit up a spot near his house as i forgot about all my worries. After a nice session Me,Kieth, and Lopezchilled outside counting what great tools we hand.
Thank god for a skateboard.
=Well gonna let you go=
Thats all the news for me pals stay happy.
Mellow
So hello there comrades how are you all doing today? As for me I'm just here listening to music and waiting around for the day to get warm(i hate the cold=.=) well i'm sorry for the short post but there is really nothing much to say..sorry.
