Chapter 41
A stocky man and a short, thin woman, both middle-aged with greying dark hair and smelling faintly of cigarettes, stood at the door. “Remember us? Your aunt Tsubame and your uncle Takahiko?” asked the woman. “Naoyuki, you’re going to live with us now.” That was when his parents had gotten back in the car and driven away.
The weeks that followed blended into each other, and each day was a blur; the only highlight was when Shizuyo came to check up on him and do a lesson on occasion. After a while, Naoyuki lost track of time – amidst the longing for his parents, the blurring days of sickness, the dull, aloof aunt and uncle, and multiple trips to the hospital, the number of which he’d lost count. How long had it been? When would his father and mother come back home? Why had they taken their things with them?
“Naoyuki, gather your things,” his uncle said one afternoon. “Let’s go.” Had his parents returned? Naoyuki’s hopes were soaring as he got into his uncle’s car and rode down unfamiliar streets. His uncle stopped the car at what looked like a large apartment building with a sign outside that bore a lotus in two hands enclosed in a circle. Thinking it was perhaps a doctor’s office or something of the sort, Naoyuki followed his uncle inside. The older, twig of a woman who greeted them at the door had a child at her side when she asked how she could help them. His uncle pushed him toward her. “I’d like to leave him in your care,” he said.
Puzzled, Naoyuki figured this place to be a day care. That was it. His aunt and uncle must have had somewhere to go. The lanky old woman handed his uncle a clipboard of forms, which he quickly filled out before bidding the woman good evening and taking his leave.
“Welcome to your new home,” the twig of a woman told Naoyuki.
My what? Naoyuki’s hopes plummeted. Crashed and burned. Went up in smoke. No. This isn’t home. I want Mama and Papa! He ran to the door only to be obstructed by two security guards and hauled back inside to the old woman. “No!” he screamed. “I want to go home! I want my mama and papa!” He fought. He lost. He was taken to a small room with a bunk and a small table and left there, the door locked from the outside. Naoyuki pounded on the door, on the walls, screaming. “MAMA! I WANT MY MAMA!! LET ME OUT!!! I WANNA GO HOME!!!” he wailed. His struggle was in vain; the door remained locked to him. No one came – not even to tell him to be quiet. “MAMA!!!” Naoyuki’s throat was sore. He couldn’t scream anymore. He was tired; his hands hurt. He couldn’t pound anymore. “Mama...!!” he cried. He sank down into a crumpled heap on the floor and cried until the tears were gone. Still, the door wouldn’t open. It was a nightmare. This couldn’t really be happening – none of it felt real. Naoyuki crawled to the bunk and felt the foot. This isn’t happening. He knocked his head into it. Wake up. Harder this time. Make this go away. A slam into the foot of the bed. Again and again, until he was numb to the sting. Make it go away.
The door finally opened. But only for another woman to come in and yank him away from the bed. She tried talking to him in vain before consulting someone else. Then she bound his arms and legs and sat him in a chair. He was barely aware of her closing and locking the door again. This isn’t real.
This isn’t real.
The car lurched and twisted on its top. The others were screaming. Metal crunched and screeched around them. Glass shattered into the car. Ushio’s screams suddenly stopped. No! Another jarring impact threw the car. Haruko’s screams stopped. Then, the others, too. Finally, everything halted, and an eerie silence set in. No!!
Why didn’t you die then? It would’ve been better than this.
“You’re absolutely WORTHLESS!!” His father held a glass of liquor in his hands, which splashed on the coffee table as he swung his arms angrily. “Have you forgotten that I raised you?!” his father hollered. “Yes, I’m the one who made sure you kept up with school even when you were sick; I kept you from being held back and taught you myself! My job puts your food on the table, clothes on your back, and a roof over your head! I’m the reason that you and Ms. Matsuda were able to keep the old house when we moved out here! But what do you give me in return?! Laziness, lies, disobedience – that’s what you repay me with, boy?!! When we let you come here with us, what did you promise?! You said you would behave, didn’t you?!! You UNGRATEFUL child!!!”
His father’s hand came down and the glass with it, which shattered against the side of his head, leaving him stunned on the floor. Broken glass cut his hands and cheek. The hitting went on. His mother tried to fight for him and lost. Ikuo even stepped in, but with the same result. Naoyuki was tired. He hadn’t eaten. He hurt all over from yesterday’s beating. So when he tried to fight back, he was only knocked down again, to have his hands pinned under his father’s left foot while the right foot smashed his side. Naoyuki felt the old wound reopen. The pain came over him in waves.
Anything would’ve been better than that torture.
The pain started to dull. His panic faded. After lying on the ground for a moment, Naoyuki got up and dragged himself through the cold snow in the dark. It barely hurt, now, the gash on his side. It started to feel like a dream. He could feel himself slipping into nothingness. I can’t make it to Taki’s. Even if I did, Papa would only come and get me again. There’s nowhere safe for me. He looked up. Despite his blurring vision, he could make out a park across the street. He forced his legs to move. Dragged his cold feet on the rough cement beneath the icy snow. Taki probably already went...to the park with the big hill...that’s like a roller-coaster when you sled down it. I’ve never been on a roller-coaster; I wanted to try it... Naoyuki gripped the icy bars on the jungle gym and clumsily made his way up. The frigid wind blew against his wet jacket as he crawled into the tunnel and dropped onto his right side, exhausted. I wanted to go with you,... Taki... Even the mild sting and chill from the cold gradually stopped, though he shivered wildly. Then nothing.
That’s right. There’s nowhere..you can go... You can’t go back to Taki. You can’t go back home. Running back to the old town with your tail between your legs would be like stabbing Haruko and Kotaro and the Fubukis in the back, after everything they went through to allow you to get here. And besides that, Shizuyo would get in trouble, and Uncle Tsutomu would just ship you off to some strange place by yourself. It would’ve been better for you to have died than for you to live like this, always running scared.
Wait...What’s that? He hears a voice. Somebody’s calling me...Who’s there...?
Naoyuki was in someone’s arms – a girl’s. Her touch was familiar. She held him close, tightly. She was crying. “Naoyuki, please don’t leave me.” She was trembling. “Not you, too...!”
Taki leans over the bed from her chair and touches Naoyuki’s face. “Naoyuki, wake up,” she begs. “Please.” Her eyes water over. “Open your eyes...!” Naoyuki was still warm. Still pale. Sweat drips down his face. Taki squints her eyes shut. “Please...wake up...! Naoyuki... I can’t lose you like I lost Shinya... Wake up!” The tiringly-slow rhythmic pinging of the meters suddenly picks up. Taki opens her eyes.
Naoyuki stirs. His hand reaches out searchingly. “Taki...?” he calls weakly.
Overjoyed, Taki takes his little hand in hers and answers, “I’m right here.” Relief washes over her in waves as she watches his eyes ease open. “Naoyuki...!” she cries happily. “I’m so glad you’re okay...!” Gently, she takes hold of him in an embrace.
***************************
After receiving a call from Mrs. Kondo saying that Naoyuki had woken up, Shizuyo and Kazunori stop at a gift shop and pick up a card and a small present, then hurry to the hospital. All Shizuyo could think about is seeing Naoyuki. She hadn’t seen him in a long time. She hadn’t laid hands on him for even longer. She wants to whisk him up, tell him how much she missed him and loved him, and take him with her. She couldn’t let something like this happen to him again. “He’s coming back with us this time,” Shizuyo decides, nodding her head.
Kazunori nods in agreement. “Yeah. Uncle Hiroto isn’t going to change. We can’t let him continue to take advantage of Naoyuki.”
Shizuyo cringes. Hiroto, she thinks, I won’t allow you to break Naoyuki.
Shizuyo pulls into the hospital parking lot and takes the first available space she sees. She and Kazu climb out of the car with their gift and card and hurry into the hospital. Mrs. Kondo and the others were all out in the front waiting room. “Where’s his room?” Shizuyo asks.
“They’ve closed it to visitors,” Mrs. Kondo replies sadly.
“What’s happened?” Shizuyo inquires.
“Naoyuki’s temp hit 105,” Mrs. Kondo replies, “and the doctor says his infection has spread to his lungs.”
The bag in Shizuyo’s hand falls lightly to the floor.
“Aunt Aya,” Kazu asks urgently, “what are they doing for him?”
“They have him on antibiotics, but...” She trails off. “That’s right; I never told you, did I? I finally got Naoyuki to a specialist,” Mrs. Kondo says. “They diagnosed him with XLA.”
“And you’re telling us this now?!” Shizuyo cries hysterically.
“What’s XLA?” Kazunori asks worriedly.
Ikeda answers, “It’s an immune deficiency in which the body can’t properly produce antibodies. People with XLA can be treated with drugs that act as substitutes for the missing antibodies. But now that he’s already developed a serious infection, it may be too late for that.”
“Naoyuki will be transferred to a clinic where his specialist can treat him,” Mrs. Kondo tells Shizuyo and Kazu.
The girl with the short, curly brown hair catches Kazu’s eye. She was staring at Ikeda in shock. “No one said it was that serious,” she cries, starting to panic.
“Taki, calm down,” says the woman sitting beside the girl – her mother, Kazu guesses. So that’s Taki Soejima, he surmises.
“Aya, you let this happen!” Shizuyo bursts out. “You let this happen! You promised you’d be good to him this time – you promised!” She fights Kazunori as he grabs her arm and tries to calm her down. “I’m going to take Naoyuki where you and Hiroto can never hurt him again!!” she yells. “And the very least you can do for him is get Tsutomu off his back – !!” She notices Mrs. Kondo looking past her and Kazunori and hears heavy footsteps stop behind them. She and Kazunori turn around to find Mr. Kondo standing silently, somberly before them, hunched over as if a thousand-ton weight was sitting on his shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” Mr. Kondo says quietly.
Kazunori clenches his fists and cringes. “Did you show your face here for that? Well, it’s too late for apologies!” he yells. “You’ve done enough to Naoyuki, and we won’t let you hurt him anymore!”
“Are you only apologizing to save face,” Shizuyo asks heavily, “or do you mean it?”
Mr. Kondo falls to his knees on the floor. “I’m sorry.”
Silence for a moment. “If you’re sincere, then don’t apologize to us,” Shizuyo says heavily. “Apologize to your son, Hiroto; he’s the one you hurt.”
“We won’t be able to see Naoyuki until they’re ready for the transfer,” Mrs. Kondo says.
Mr. Kondo slowly gets back to his feet. “Transfer?”
“To the immunodeficiency clinic,” Mrs. Kondo replies.
Mr. Kondo frowns. “Is..Naoyuki...still comatose?” he asks.
“No,” his wife replies, “he regained consciousness.” She takes Ikuo from the seat next to her and sits him in her lap. Her husband sits beside her. Ikuo fidgets away from him.
“I’m sorry,” Mr. Kondo apologizes, “for losing my temper.”
Mrs. Kondo nods in reply, but says nothing. “He smells like alcohol,” Ikuo whispers uneasily. His mother hushes him and looks back up at Shizuyo and Kazunori as Shizuyo picks up the bag she dropped and quickly follows Kazu aside.
“Do you really believe him?” Kazunori hisses. “Do you really trust Uncle Hiroto around Naoyuki after all he’s – ?”
“Of course I don’t trust Hiroto around Naoyuki,” Shizuyo says uneasily. “For all we know, it could just be the liquor talking.”
“But you’re gonna forgive him and let him apologize to Naoyuki in person?”
“I don’t plan on leaving Hiroto alone with him. And there’s no way I’ve forgiven him.” The ice leaves her voice. “I still plan on taking Naoyuki back with us. I just don’t want to leave things like this – with the chance that Naoyuki could think he did something wrong. I want him to get that apology.”
As they are speaking, some nurses approach the front lobby carting Naoyuki along. The others get up and go to him, and Shizuyo and Kazunori hurriedly join them. Naoyuki was just barely awake and incredibly feverish. His breathing was labored. Poor Naoyuki – he looks terrible, Shizuyo thinks.
“Hang in there, Naoyuki,” Taki tells him worriedly.
“We’ll see you again soon, right?” her father chimes in, receiving a weak nod in reply.
Mrs. Kondo takes her son’s hand, offering a wordless comfort for fear of breaking down in tears in front of him.
Mr. Kondo was keeping his distance still. Shizuyo and Kazunori greet Naoyuki next. “Hi, Naoyuki,” Shizuyo says. “I’m sorry we have to meet like this...” She puts the bag in the crook of his arm. “This is for you from me and Kazu. We’ll see you soon.”
At his wife’s beckoning, Mr. Kondo finally approaches Naoyuki’s bedside. Naoyuki flinches a little. In silence, Mr. Kondo takes something from his pocket and tucks it in Naoyuki’s hand. “Naoyuki,” he says softly, “I’m sorry.”
Naoyuki’s eyes widen a little in surprise. His fingers work around the smooth object in his hand. When he realizes what it is, he feels a lump build in his throat. A chess piece. It was harder to breathe with the onset of tears. After all this, now he wanted to tell him he cared – that a little bit of the father he remembered was still there? “Why now?” he cries weakly.
“Don’t try to talk,” one of the nurses cuts him off.
He signs ‘Papa’ with his other hand as the nurses cart him away and out the door. “He called for you,” Shizuyo says. “Hiroto, I won’t let you break his heart again. You’ve made your peace. Now I’m going to take him back with me.”
***************************
Naoyuki wakes up in a well-furnished room with a large window that would favor a hotel room if it weren’t for the hospital bed he was laying in and the equipment nearby. He felt better; he could breathe like normal; and the twinges of pain in his side were gone. But where am I? And where is everybody? Naoyuki sits up and looks around. There was no one in the room but him. A breeze rustles the curtains at his left. Otherwise, it was still and quiet. “Mama?” he calls. “Papa?” He slowly climbs down from the bed and starts unsteadily toward the door. “Taki?” he calls. “Shizuyo?” He opens the door and peeks out into the hall. Now it looked like a hospital and smelled like one. Doctors were milling about in the hallway. “Kazu?” Naoyuki calls, suddenly worrying. Why am I here alone? He feels his legs quake underneath him. Why am I alone? His eyes water up. One of the doctors – a man in his twenties or thirties with sand-colored hair – approaches him.
“You should be in bed,” he says. “Is something the matter?”
Naoyuki shakily asks, “W-Where are Mama and Papa and – and Taki and everyone?”
The man smiles. “Don’t worry,” he says. “Your family is out in the lobby.” Naoyuki still isn’t reassured. The man holds out his hand. “Here. Come with me.” Naoyuki won’t give the young doctor his hand; so he holds his steadying hand at Naoyuki’s back and herds Naoyuki down the hallways until they walk through a pair of double-doors and into a lobby full of arm chairs and desks. “Over there, right?” the young doctor asks, pointing out a group of people in the far corner of the lobby near the front doors.
One of the women points him out. It was Shizuyo. “Naoyuki!” she cries. She and Naoyuki’s parents get up and hurry to him.
Relieved, Naoyuki reaches up and hugs Shizuyo; the young doctor lets him go.
“We’re so glad to see you all better,” Shizuyo says happily as she tightly hugs Naoyuki back. “Did you get to open your gift?”
“Unh-uh.” Naoyuki shakes his head.
“He was looking for you,” the young doctor reports. “The poor guy got all worried and got out of bed. But he needs to go back now; he still needs rest.”
“Can we go back to his room with him?” asks Naoyuki’s mother.
“I don’t see why not,” the doctor replies, “just don’t tire him out.”
Shizuyo picks Naoyuki up and carries him, following the young doctor back to Naoyuki’s room with the Kondo couple in tow. She rubs Naoyuki’s back as she walks. Naoyuki smiles. Her hands feel good. I’d forgotten..this touch was so warm.
“Here we are.” The young doctor leads Shizuyo and the Kondos into the room and takes Naoyuki from Shizuyo to lay him back in the bed. “The doc said no less than three days of bed rest before release,” he explains, “so you’ve still got today to go.” He strides over to the far wall and closes the window, then turns to leave. “Remember, don’t tire him out,” he reminds Shizuyo and the Kondo couple before he walks out the door and closes it quietly behind him.
“How do you feel, Naoyuki?” his mother asks.
“Good,” Naoyuki replies.
His mother smiles. “I’m glad,” she says. She takes his hand and asks, “Say, Naoyuki, is there something you want when you get home – to celebrate your recovery?
“Naoyuki, listen,” Shizuyo suddenly speaks up. “I want to give you some choices,” she says. “I’m completely ready to take you home with me. And things are settled with your uncle Tsutomu – he won’t bother us again.”
“Shizuyo, let’s talk about this later,” Mrs. Kondo pleads.
“No,” Shizuyo says abruptly, then turns back to Naoyuki. “It’s your choice, Naoyuki,” she says. “If you want to come back with me, say so. But..if you want to stay here with your parents, that’s fine too.”
Silence. “I have to pick one or the other?” Naoyuki asks, frowning. “We have the specialist now; Mama and Papa and Ikuo can come home, right?”
Mrs. Kondo looks questioningly back at her husband.
“Papa?” Naoyuki pleads. His father doesn’t answer. “Come home,” Naoyuki pleads again. “That’s what I.. I came here to bring you home. That’s all I want. So please...”
“Do you know what you’re asking?” Mr. Kondo blurts out. “For goodness’ sake, don’t whine like a spoiled brat – !” Naoyuki flinches and recoils away from him. Mr. Kondo draws back under the glares of his wife and Shizuyo. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “It’s not safe for you to be around me right now,” he says. “Just go with Shizuyo, Naoyuki.”
“But Hiroto!” Mrs. Kondo cries.
Hesitantly, Naoyuki reaches out and beckons his father toward the bed. “Naoyuki, what are you doing?” Shizuyo asks nervously. She nevertheless steps back to let Mr. Kondo through.
Naoyuki grabs his father’s sleeve and asks, “How can I make it go back to the way it was? Do you really hate me now...?”
“No, no,” his father answers gruffly, “I was wrong, Naoyuki. I did wrong.”
“I can ride a bike now and kind of play basketball...”
“Stop it; it’s not your fault!” Mr. Kondo yanks his arm away. “It’s mine, understand?!”
“But if I go back without you, it’d be like stabbing Haruko and the others in the back!” Naoyuki cries. He suddenly sees the red on his hands and lets out a yelp. Don’t see that. Think about what she looked like before... when she put out her hand... He feels a hand on his head – a broad, heavy hand. It belonged to his father.
His father was patting his head. “I’m sorry,” he says. “You’re trying really hard, aren’t you?” Mr. Kondo abruptly pulls his hand away. This is the first time he’s been earnest about anything since we met him again, he thinks. I didn’t know he still had this in him. “I’ll think about it,” he says. “I’ll think about going back.”
“Really?” Naoyuki asks. “Promise...?” His eyes ease shut.
***************************
Ikuo helps his stepfather put the last box in the back of the truck. “That’s it,” Mr. Kondo says. “Aya, Naoyuki, let’s get a move-on!” They were already getting into his wife’s car as he speaks. Mr. Kondo leads Ikuo to the packed sedan and jumps into the driver’s seat; Ikuo hops in the back, and he starts the car, following after his wife’s Honda and the moving van.
“Dad, where are we going?” Ikuo asks. “Why are we suddenly moving out?”
***************************
“Say what? Naoyuki’s leaving?” Taki cries.
Ikeda nods. “When I went to check up, the Kondos told me that they’re going back to their other house,” he replies. He grins a little. “They said it was Naoyuki’s request. So I’m happy for him. I just hope his father keeps up the good behavior.”
Taki frowns. “Yeah. I guess that’s what Naoyuki always wanted...”
Ikeda pats her on the shoulder. “Chin up, Soejima,” he says. “This isn’t goodbye forever, I’m sure. Naoyuki will come back to see you.”
Taki smiles. “Yeah. It’ll be a little lonely; but you’re right,” she agrees.
***************************
Naoyuki happily hugs his teddy bear and the little plush dog he’d gotten from Taki as a get-well present as he watches the scenery go by. The houses were finally starting to look familiar – it was Kotaro’s neighborhood. Suddenly, Naoyuki gets butterflies in his stomach. What’ll school be like? Will I go back to all the kids making fun of me and hitting me, and the teachers singling me out? He gulps. Will Kotaro’s dad let me hang out with him? And Haruko... is she...? His arms tighten around the teddy bear. Now he wonders if it was really the best thing to come back here.
Mrs. Kondo stops at a red light. She notices Naoyuki shaking and puts her hand on his shoulder. “Are you nervous?” she asks. “Don’t worry; everything will be all right.” The light turns green, and Mrs. Kondo turns her attention back to the road.
Naoyuki looks outside again. He watches snow-covered houses and trees and sidewalks zip by as they pass into and out of Haruko’s neighborhood, into and out of Kazunori’s neighborhood, and into theirs. In a matter of minutes – after three long years and some number of weeks – they would all be home together again. Ikuo would be there, too; Naoyuki hopes he’d like the house. Shizuyo would be waiting for them – and maybe Kazunori. The moving truck ahead of them turns down their street, and Mrs. Kondo follows. Less than a moment later, they pull up at the old house. From the outside, it was still the same. Shizuyo had shoveled the front walk and the driveway.
“All right. Stay in the car,” Naoyuki’s mother says. “Your father and I and the movers will take care of our things.” She gets out of the car, and Naoyuki waits in his seat, still clutching the dog and the teddy bear – one toy in each arm. He watches his parents and the movers buzz around carrying things to and fro. Kazunori comes out of the house to help a few minutes later, and Shizuyo follows. Finally, the last of the boxes are being taken inside, and Naoyuki’s mother gestures for him to come out of the car. Naoyuki waits for the moving van to pull out and the sedan to take its place before climbing out of the car. Ikuo climbs out of the sedan and follows between Naoyuki and Mr. Kondo as they ascend the driveway and stride up the front walk after Mrs. Kondo. Shizuyo holds the door open for them, and they step inside and take off their soggy shoes at the door.
“Naoyuki!”
Naoyuki freezes. He slowly raises his shocked gaze from the floor to the small feet ahead of him on the living room carpet. From the feet, up the jeans to the pink sweater. Around the wrist that hung at her left side is the bracelet he’d made with the pink beads, gold spacers and the flower charm. His eyes finally meet hers. He takes a hesitant step forward. Haru...!
“You still have the bear! I’m so glad!”
Naoyuki drops the toys, runs up and throws his arms around her. “Haruko!” he cries. His eyes were tearing up. “Haruko!” He couldn’t help it. He was so happy to see her face. To hear her voice. To feel her touch. “I thought I’d never see you again...!” he sobs.
“I was worried, too,” Haruko says, “especially when I heard you were in the hospital. I’m sorry I didn’t get you a present or visit you. I had to stay in bed until a couple days ago – ”
“This is the best thing I could ask for...”
Haruko’s face flushes. But she smiles; she was happy.
“Sheesh! What’s with the water works, Naoyuki? And seriously, this must be the most I’ve ever heard you talk!”
Kotaro was standing near the dining room doorway. Embarrassed by both what Kotaro said and the fact that he hadn’t noticed him, Naoyuki backs away from Haruko and wipes his eyes. “Kotaro,” he sniffs, “you’re a jerk!”
“Hey, the first words out of your mouth to me are an insult?! That’s a nice way to say ‘hello’! What gives, Naoyuki?!” Kotaro cries. “And after I got all worried about you ‘cause your cousin told me you were – ! Well...” He trails off. “I’m glad you’re okay now,” he says.
His statement puzzles Naoyuki, but he smiles at Kotaro anyway.
“So who’re they?” Ikuo asks, looking around questioningly.
“Get your shoes off and get in the house,” Mr. Kondo grumbles.
“I have hot tea and cocoa in here,” Shizuyo calls as she ambles into the dining room. “We can chat over drinks while we warm up. Does that sound good to everyone?”
“So you must be Ikuo...” Kotaro introduces himself and Haruko as he joins the others following Shizuyo into the dining room. Naoyuki reaches out and takes Haruko’s hand as he walks between his friends. I’m so glad they’re both here, he thinks.
