Akatsuki School Special: Tobi's Field Trip
The next day, Tobi and friends went to school; they sat down at their seats and saw a written announcement on their desks. Tobi was new, so he didn’t know what they were. He look...
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Everyone was rowdy at Itachi’s lunch table, but at Deidara and Tobi’s table, it was rather quiet. Sasori said nothing when he had sat down and pushed away Deidara and Tobi when they offered to sit beside him. Zetsu, Deidara, and Tobi were told to sit on the other side of the lunch table away from him, or he would make them into his newest puppets.
Tobi and Deidara didn’t understand why Sasori acted so differently today. Zetsu knew well to back off and leave Sasori alone. Once Sasori left to dump his lunch tray, Tobi and Deidara started up a conversation. “Why is Sasori acting differently, Sempai?”
“How should I know? I don’t live with Sasori-no-Danna. I just met him when first grade started, un,” Deidara responded.
“I know what’s wrong with Sasori,” Zetsu’s white half said.
The two turned to Zetsu. “How do you know?” Deidara asked.
“All of us apprentice Akatsuki members besides you and Tobi know why Sasori is acting this way.” Zetsu’s black half cackled as if Deidara was an idiot and oblivious to what was going on.
“So why is Sasori acting differently, Zetsu-san?” Tobi asked.
“It would be better if I tell you the whole story at recess,” Zetsu told the masked boy.
Sasori returned to the table, saying nothing, and laid his head on the table, covering his face with his arms and hands. “Why? Why’d you deceive and betray me my old friend?” Sasori said to himself so quietly no one heard him.
At recess, Zetsu gathered Tobi and Deidara and went up to the large, shaded tree beside the basketball court. Itachi and Kisame were playing against each other and it was clear Kisame was winning, but Itachi was blind to see that. Zetsu sat on one of the tree’s roots and Tobi and Deidara sat on the dry grass. “Okay I’ll tell you the story,” Zetsu explained.
~ ~ ~
“Sasori, check it out!”
“What is it?”
“What do you mean, ‘What is it?’ It’s my pet snake.”
“Oh, I’ve never seen a snake before!”
Sasori was in kindergarten playing with his best friend from preschool. Today was show and tell. Kakuzu brought his newest safe that would obliterate anything or anyone, other than him, that tried to open the safe. Itachi brought Kisame, which really wasn’t a show and tell object of choice. Hidan was at home, due to the fact he had the chicken pox. Sasori wanted to be last because he thought his new puppet wasn’t that good. “All right, Orochimaru, it’s your turn for show and tell,” Konan called.
~ ~ ~
“Wait, un!” Deidara interrupted.
“WHAT?!” Zetsu’s black self snapped.
“Who’s this Orochimaru?”
Sasori sat on the swing and thought about his long-gone-away friend Orochimaru.
~ ~ ~
“This is my snake, Manda,” Orochimaru told the class.
The class was hypnotized by the large purple snake around Orochimaru’s neck and right arm. “He’s 5 yrs old and my first pet,” Orochimaru said staring at Itachi, who wasn’t paying any attention.
“Thank you for introducing us to your snake, Orochimaru,” Konan said, “Now, Sasori, it’s your turn.”
Orochimaru sat down and told his friend “Good luck.”
~ ~ ~
“So, Orochimaru was a fellow Akatsuki apprentice and Danna’s best friend, un?” Deidara questioned.
“Yes, was,” Zetsu said.
“Where’s Orochi-san now?” Tobi wondered, asking Zetsu.
“No one knows. He tried to take Itachi, but Itachi chopped off one of his hands and Orochimaru fled afterwards.”
~ ~ ~
“Man, Orochi, I did awful at show and tell today! I suck!” Sasori whined.
“Don’t say that!” Orochimaru said getting into his friends face, “Your puppets are good. All you need it to get your confidence up.”
Sasori nodded. Orochimaru then looked at Itachi and Kisame as they played basketball. “Hmm? Whatcha lookin at Orochimaru?” Sasori said suddenly as he noticed Orochimaru turn away.
“Oh, it’s nothing,” Orochimaru said turning to his friend, with his expression softened, “If it’s okay, I’m going to go and play basketball.”
Orochimaru walked off to the basketball court, but unknowingly to him, Sasori was closely following behind him.
Orochimaru arrived and had an evil look on his face. “Itachi, can you come over here for a second?” he asked.
Itachi made no move and he signaled Kisame to draw his sword. Itachi summoned up his Mangekyo Sharingan and used his Tsukyomi. Orochimaru and Sasori both looked into Itachi’s eyes and were dragged into his genjutsu. “What are you doing Itachi?” Sasori said looking at both him and Orochimaru.
“Orochimaru has deceived you Sasori, he deceived us all,” Itachi said drawing his katana.
“No! You’re lying! Orochimaru would never deceive me! He’s not even trying to do anything to you!” the six year old cried.
“Then why does he have his snake and katana behind his back?”
Sasori was dumbfounded and looked behind his friend’s back. “No! It’s not true! Impossible!” Sasori said staring at the drawn katana and Manda on his friend’s arm.
“Sasori, you were easy to deceive!” Orochimaru declared.
Sasori looked at his friend’s face, but where the kind soft expression he was used to was not there. “You are a gullible brat! I was able to manipulate you like clay. I pretended to be your friend to gain your trust and get close to Itachi, and then I was going to kidnap him and leave you alone,” Orochimaru said coldly.
Sasori was in disbelief. The only friend he knew was a mere illusion? No, it couldn’t be! Tears started to roll down Sasori’s face. Itachi couldn’t take looking at the sad Sasori, who was filled with so much pain. “Shut up!” Itachi shouted.
He released his Tsukyomi and charged at Orochimaru trying to stab him in the heart. Orochimaru dodged, yet sustained damage because Itachi chopped off one of his hands. Orochimaru screamed with pain and disappeared without any trace of him left.
~ ~ ~
Zetsu said no more and Deidara and Tobi also fell silent.
Sasori, who was sitting on the swing, had tears streaming down his face. “Orochimaru, you worthless, betraying, brat! I will kill you if I risk my life!”
Sasori sat back down in his seat and tried to wipe away the tears he hadn’t had in a year, but it seemed useless. “Deidara, you brat, you were the first true friend I have ever had. Although you believe art is a bang and I disagree, we can both agree on this fact:
True friendship does last forever, even when separated”
The videos I got these lyrics from is on the next page. Sorry, I like these songs so far, still working on the Fieldtrip episode. It's going to be pretty long. So Note: I didn't make the movies, I'm not taking the credit I'm posting these on here because I relate to the songs, and I like the songs. I've watched the vids...... About 12 times. Anyway here are the two songs:
Akatsuki Sing-along- "If Deidara was Gay"
An afternoon alone with my favorite book,
“Broadway Musicals of the 1940s”
No roommate to bother me
How could it get any better than this?
Tobi: Oh, hi Deidara!
Deidara: Hi Tobi… =__=
Tobi: Hey Deidara,
you’ll never guess
what happened to me
on the subway this morning
was smiling at me…
and talking to me…
Deidara: That’s very interesting
Tobi: He was being real friendly
And I think he was coming on to me
I think he might have thought I was gay!
So, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don’t care.
What did you have for lunch today?
Tobi: Oh, you don’t have to
Get all defensive about it, Deidara…
Deidara: I’m NOT getting defensive!
What do I care
about some gay guy you met, okay?
I’m trying to read…
Tobi: Oh, I didn’t mean anything by it, Deidara
I just think it’s something
We should be able to talk about
Deidara: I don’t want to talk about it, Tobi
This conversation is over!!!
Tobi: Yeah, but…
Tobi: Well, okay, but just so you know –
If you were gay
Tobi: That’d be okay
(Calm down, Deidara… un…)
(Think nice thoughts…)
Tobi: I mean ‘cause, hey,
*Imagines Tobi getting killed*
Tobi: I’d like you anyway
Because you see
If it were me
I would feel free
Tobi: To say that I was gay
*emo cloud hovers overhead*
(But I’m not gay)
Deidara: Tobi… please
I am trying to read!
Tobi: If you were queer
Tobi: I’d still be here
Deidara: Tobi, I’m TRYING to read this book!
Tobi: Year after year
Tobi: Because you are dear to me
Tobi: And I know that
You would accept me, too
Tobi: If I told you today
Hey, guess what?!
*emo cloud’s back*
Tobi: I’m gay!
(but I’m not gay)
Just being with you
(I miss Sasori… un… T_T)
Tobi: So what should it matter to me
What you do in bed with guys?
Deidara: TOBI THAT’S GROSS!
Tobi: NO IT’S NOT!
If you were gay
Tobi: I’d shout “HOORAY!”
Deidara: I am NOT listening!
Tobi: And here I’d stay
Tobi: But, I wouldn’t get in your way
You can count on me
To always be
(What’d I do to deserve THIS?!)
Tobi: Beside you everyday
To tell you it’s okay
(I wonder if slitting my wrist will hurt much…)
(Maybe bomb myself? That’d be more Artistic…)
(Maybe Itachi killed his family because Tobi is actually an Uchiha…)
Tobi: You were just born that way
(I’m leaving Naruto… I heard they have a vacancy for the episodes in Bleach…)
Tobi: And, as they say
It’s in your DNA, you’re gay
Deidara: BUT I’M NOT GAY!!!
Tobi: If you were gay
*goes into an angry frenzy*
Akatsuki Sing-along- "It Sucks to be Me"
Once upon a time, in the Akatsuki hideout…
Konan: Morning, Pein!
Pein: Hi, Konan~
Konan: How’s life?
Konan: What’s the matter?
Pein: The catering company laid me off.
Konan: Oh, I’m sorry!
Pein: Me too!
I mean, look at me!
I’m ten years out of college, and
I always thought ---
Pein: No, it sounds stupid.
Konan: Aww, come on!
Pein: When I was little
I thought I would be…
Pein: A big comedian
On late night TV
But now I’m thirty-two
Konan: OMG REALLY?! You are OLD!! Ewwwwwwww!
Pein: And as you can see
Neji: That’s because it’s your destiny… and you aren’t destined to change your destiny…
Konan: And who the heck are you?!
Pein: I’m not
(Is she still listening T_T)
Pein: Oh Well,
It sucks to be me.
*goes to emo corner*
Pein: It sucks to be me.
T_T you are stealing MY emo corner!
Konan: IT’S THE EMO CLOUD OF DOOM!!!
Pein: It sucks to be broke
And turning thirty-three.
(He talks too much)
Pein: It sucks to be me.
Konan: Oh, you think your life sucks?
Pein: I think so.
Konan: Your problems aren’t so bad!
Pein: Oh, really?!
Konan: I’m kinda pretty
And pretty smart.
Pein: You are
Thanks, I like romantic things
Like music and art.
(Must… get rid of Sasori and Deidara, and Itachi)
*Intent to kill*
Deidara: ART IS A BANG, UN!
Sasori: No way… Art lasts forever…
Konan: And as you know
I have a gigantic heart
Pein: OMG PLZ DON’T CRY! DON’T CRY!
Konan: Don’t I have a boyfriend?
It sucks to be me!
Pein: Me too.
Konan: It sucks to be me.
Pein: It sucks to be me.
It sucks to be Pein…
Konan: And Konan
Pein: To not have a job!
Konan: To not have a date!
Pein: It sucks to be me.
Konan: It sucks to be me.
Pein: Hey, Tobi~ Deidara~
Can you settle something for us?
Deidara: Stupid Tobi… un
Pein: Do you have a second?
Deidara: Uh huh
Konan: Whose life sucks more?
Pein’s or mine?
We live together.
Tobi: We’re as close as people can get.
Deidara: We’ve been the best of buddies…
Konan: Aww… Isn’t that cute, Pein?
Tobi: Ever since the day we met.
Deidara: So he knows lots of ways
To make me really upset.
Deidara: Oh, every day is an aggravation
Tobi: Come on, that’s an exaggeration!
Konan: OMG it’s the evil Tobi!!!
Deidara: You leave your clothes out.
You put your feet on my chair.
Tobi: Oh yeah?
You do such anal things
Like ironing your underwear
Deidara: HEY YOU PROMISED NEVER TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT!!!
Deidara: You make that very small apartment
We share a hell
Tobi: So do you,
That’s why I’m in hell too!
Deidara: It sucks to me!
Tobi: No, it sucks to be me!
Deidara: It sucks to be me!
Everyone: Is there anyone here
It doesn’t suck to be?
Everyone + Sasuke and Sasori: It sucks to be me!
The day after the dodge ball tournament between Tobi and Itachi was pretty normal compared to what happens on the playground. “Is everyone here?” Konan asked, “Itachi?”
“*Snore* Huh? Oh, here”
Konan continued to call names until she got a phone call. “Uh… Okay, alright, I’ll send him down,” Konan said, “Zetsu; it’s time for your first trip of the day to Counselor Minato.”
“Alright,” Zetsu responded.
Little Zetsu got out of his lone desk and exited the room. He knew the way to the kind counselor’s office, he knew it too well. He’d been to the counselor’s office twice every day. He passed principal Pein’s office, with Hidan already inside although it was early in the day, and headed down the long hallway.
Zetsu stopped at a lone door, although it was lone, it didn’t blend into the grey Akatsuki School walls. The bottom of the door had red drawings of flames with the colors evenly blended with a slight mixture of orange. The door had the sign counselor below the window. Zetsu reached for the handle, but hesitated to turn. “Calm down Zetsu,” his white self told him, “You’ve been here for a long amount of time, so relax yourself.”
Zetsu listened to his voice of reason and turned the handle. The door opened to reveal a bright room filled with colors you wouldn’t normally see in an evil lair. “Come on in Zetsu!” the counselor kindly said.
Zetsu entered to the sight of kind counselor Minato. “Okay, Zetsu, tell me how your day is so far,” the spiky-haired blonde said as Zetsu took the seat on the other side of the table.
“Not much has been going on… Konan did our name roll call and we started to do a math test.”
“How’s that plant you were raising? Is it still growing well?”
“Yeah, the bamboo plant is really growing well… I only wish I could show you…”
Zetsu and Minato talked as if they were old friends. They talked about life, how their friends were doing, and some activities they enjoyed until it was time for Zetsu to go back to class. “Alright Zetsu, it’s time to go back to class. I hope you enjoy yourself, and I’ll see you at the end of the day,” Minato explained.
Zetsu nodded and got up from his chair to leave. “Wait,” Minato said before Zetsu opened the door, “Here, have some candy. I’m sure Ms. Konan won’t mind.”
Zetsu grabbed the candy and thanked the counselor saying he’d be back at the end of the day. Zetsu left the room, closing the door gently, and popped the candy the counselor gave him. He smiled at Minato’s kindness and felt warmest whenever he was in the counselor’s office. Zetsu then hurried to his class, opened the door, and sat at his lone seat. Konan noticed the candy inside Zetsu’s mouth, but said nothing as the seven year old enjoyed it.
Konan then blew the second whistle, signaling the time to throw. Tobi handed one of the two dodge balls to Deidara. Zetsu stayed in the back with Sasori watching in wonder if they were going to win with this new team player. Sasori sat on the ground working with his new puppet creation wondering where he should put the defense mechanisms and poisons.
Deidara crafted a clay owl and brought it to life in hopes of getting more of a better attack range. As he was about to hand the dodge ball to the clay owl, he heard Hidan taunting him from the other side. “Hey, Deidara!” Hidan taunted, “The only reason you’re handing that ball to that owl of yours is because you throw like a girl!”
Deidara was furious at Hidan. He wanted to use his jutsu to make him explode right there and now, but he knew for sure he’d be banished to the principal’s office, so he calmed down…... And threw the dodge ball at Hidan’s face!
The dodge ball slammed against Hidan so hard that it made him fall onto the gym floor. Kakuzu was stunned. Deidara had never done that before! Even Itachi and Kisame were shocked. “Oh My God! THAT F**KING HURTS!” Hidan screamed.
All eyes fell on Deidara who had anger filled in his eyes instead of kindness towards the opposing team.
Hidan sat on the sidelines, cursing that he was the first one out. Itachi became worried about Deidara’s anger and consulted his last two members of the dodge ball team. “I’ve never seen Deidara get so angry like that,” Kisame said shocked.
“I know, he is now actually a threat to us other than Tobi,” Itachi explained.
“So, what’s the plan?” Kakuzu said as he stole Kisame’s lunch money.
“Don’t worry, I’ll handle it,” Itachi said calmly.
Itachi explained the plan to both and they agreed to it. Itachi’s team had never lost a dodge ball match and they had no intention to lose now. Kakuzu grabbed the ball that hit Hidan in the face and threw it in the air. “Kisame, now!” Kakuzu signaled.
Kisame grabbed his sword and took a swing at the dodge ball as if it were a baseball and hit it over to the opposing side at Sasori. However, the plan didn’t work so well because it hit Sasori’s finished puppet, now breaking it on contact.
Sasori was quiet for a few minutes, but then his face grew red with anger and he stood up and said, “WHO THREW THAT?!”
Kisame and Itachi stared at him with blank faces and then pointed at Kakuzu and said, “He threw it.”
Sasori grabbed the dodge ball that was just thrown and threw it directly at Kakuzu. Kakuzu desperately hit the floor, groaned, and curled himself into a ball after being hit in a place boys would not like getting hit with something. Kakuzu had to be dragged out of the field by Konan and he lay next to the bloody-nosed Hidan.
“Okay, that plan didn’t work,” Itachi said, “So, you have any ideas Kisa-“
Suddenly Tobi hit Kisame in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. “me,” Itachi finished.
Kisame steadily walked over to where his other teammates were sitting/laying and sat down clenching his stomach. “Okay, it’s just me then,” Itachi said to himself, “Both dodge balls are over here, so I just need to get the others out. I have no choice…”
Itachi released the mangekyo and used it on Tobi’s team. Deidara and Tobi snapped out of the genjutsu though. Itachi jumped up and threw both dodge balls. One hit Zetsu and the other hit Sasori. “Bulls eye!” Itachi said, “Got them, two more to go!”
Sasori and Zetsu sat on the sidelines as the only ones that were not injured and cheered for Tobi and Deidara to defeat Itachi. Deidara grabbed a dodge ball and chucked it at Itachi. Itachi was too quick though and caught it. “Sorry Tobi,” Deidara said as he sat on the sidelines.
“Itachi you may bring a player back to your team,” Konan said.
“No, I’m doing this by myself… Especially since they would be of no use to me,” Itachi said closing his eyes.
Itachi grabbed the dodge ball tightly in his hands as he and Tobi both approached the center of the gym. They stared intensely into each other’s eyes and threw the dodge ball.
Both Itachi and Tobi were hit, but the force of the dodge balls wasn’t great, so it caused no damage or injury to either one. “Game over, for the first time in Akatsuki School history, there has been a tie in dodge ball!” Konan announced.
All of Tobi’s team ran over to congratulate and thank Tobi for his work. Tobi was surrounded by his team, but he looked at Itachi with question to why he didn’t dodge or catch the ball he threw. Itachi looked away from Tobi’s stare and walked over to the gym’s entrance waiting for the remaining, non-injured classmates, to join him.
Itachi then glanced back at Tobi and his team. “For now, we have tied, but I will not lose to you new kid,” Itachi said to himself as Konan, Tobi, and the others came to the entrance to leave as well.