Dear Computer,

I'd like to thank you, dear computer, for always making me feel special. Why, only this morning, I was working on finishing that Pixiv guide so diligently with you! I was sentences away from doing so when I realized that I was completely exhausted. I saved my almost completed tutorial and shut you off, satisfied with out well the guide came out. I awoke several hours later and clicked your 'on' button and your screen lit up happily.

I quickly logged in and clicked on my Pixiv tutorial Microsoft Word link on my desktop, but realized that I'd saved it in another location (something I do often, by mistake). Yes, I must've- this saved guide only has 2 pages, instead of the 7+ that I had saved earlier. I skipped over to my other folders, where it would be located, only to realize that the one saved in those folders was even shorter.

5+ pages missing, and you sit still on my desk, silently gloating over your victory.

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It was at that moment that I realized that that had a baseball bat conveniently stashed away in the back of my closet. Smiling deviously, I pulled the baseball bat out of the closet and beat the ever lovin' kilobytes, megabytes, gigabytes right out of your mainframe. Out of the corner of the room, your friend, Laptop, watched watch on in horror as you finally get the ass-whooping you deserve.

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You've screwed me over many times- for instance:

  • That 4,000 word autobiography, school assignment that you deleted.

  • The millions of time you let the Blue Screen of Death pop up- in the worst moments.
  • My entire story folder, containing years of fanfiction, original fiction, and plot ideas- poof! Gone.
  • And finally- that online test that was vital for me to finish; that's when you decide to automatically update yourself. There's nothing like losing a grade & being locked out of a test that you've been studying for all week, right?

At this point, I'm convinced that you're a minion of Voldemort, sent to torture me because of all the "Missing" reports I've filed for his nose. And now that I think about it, it's probably true.

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So that's why finishing the tutorial is taking forever.
On the bright side, I'm making a couple videos for it while I'm retyping it.