I decided to pull a MySpace Tom for 2014. It's been on my to-do list for ages.
To kick things off, an impromptu Ask Adam. Ask your questions about life, love, anime, video games and the site in the comments and I'll do my best to answer the worthy.
I'm off to Hawaii in a few hours. I hope this will be a relaxing and reflective trip but you never know! Will miss you all over the next week or so.
I want to feature a fan comic in the latest issue of our newsletter. Which one do you all recommend? It should be something that's still updated.
Did you ever undergo a quarter-life crisis? If so, how were you able to cope with that crisis?
Milestone crises are kind of arbitrary if you think about it.
There are age-related ones: people talk about having a quarter life crisis at 25, about having a crisis at turning 30, then middle age at 40, then when you qualify for senior citizen movie tickets....If you think of time slightly differently you'll see the absurdity: The day before you turn 25, you're 9,124 days old. Is it really a big deal to be 9,125 days old instead of 9,124 days old? If we went by a different calendar (say 245 days/year), then you'd be 37.24489 years old. No one would care about turning 37.24489!
One fun advice I read somewhere was to pretend you're a different age altogether! If you're 25, pretend you're 21. How would you act if I flipped a switch and you were 21 again? What would you do? Then act that way because there's only four years difference between 21 and 25 and if you meet someone who's 51 and someone else who's 55 you'd probably consider them the same age!
There are also event-related crises: A crisis after marriage. At having a crisis after 7 years of marriage. At having a crisis after the first child is born. A crisis when the kids leave the house. So many crises!
If you add both together--according to our culture--you're "supposed" to have a crisis pretty often!
I think people get age crises because it makes them stop and take a look at where they are and are unhappy with things. It's easy to jump on a train, fall asleep, and wake up somewhere you don't want to be, wondering "Huh? How did this happen? Ugh, I should have got off five stops ago!" Then maybe you see things as hopeless and never changing (more on that later).
I think reflection is important always! You shouldn't wait for milestones to do it. Pick an arbitrary reflection day every so often where you block out some time and start writing too. I find writing helps clear away mental cobwebs. Form a strategy and don't get discouraged if you think it's impossible/tough. You get points for trying because trying is being brave and more than most people do; the outcome isn't important as how you spend your time and it's a great and honorable use of time to try to change things positively. If it's overwhelming just do the first step.
Outside of crises, there are issues of getting depressed. That's a tough one. I have a lot of mind-numbingly boring habits that I use to help stave it away. Things like Exercise & Meditation, both of which I kind of hate but still do with machine-like regularity. It's not a solve, but it might help 10-15%.
I don't think there's one formula for crises, but the important thing to remember is that everything in life is cyclical. Imagine if you ran into a crazy person who was freaking out about the rain: "It's going to rain forever and soon the streets will be flooded, and we'll all die!" You'll assure him that the rain will stop, and the sun will come out, like always, but he'll refuse to believe you. That's what people in crisis often think--that bad times and feelings will last forever. I think that way too sometimes, but it's the crazy person inside us that needs to be reassured!!!
You know the drill, ask anything in the comments and I'll respond in another post!
Plural made a tag cloud of my guestbook. I love that a certain word that rhymes with "bowl" is quite prominent.