Hulkster VS Savage: The Road to Final Victory Flint

(The Earth around them is desolate, the sand in the wind tearing at their flesh like to tiniest daggers. The sun burns brightly in the orange sky, beating down on the broken landscape. Hulk Hogan's legs slightly quiver as he manically poses and postures in front of his greatest rival, "Macho Man" Randy Savage. This world has gone to blazes, and now only one of them can survive.)

HULK: Y'know somethin', brother, when them aliens came down an' destroyed all of Earth's greatest monuments and captured our leaders, it was a truly dark day for mankind. But ya know what, dude? The Hulkster could still hold his head up high, knowin' that all those little Hulkamaniacs were home safe in their beds, takin' their vitamins, sayin' their prayers! Then, I realized somethin', Jack... this world will never be safe as long as scumbags like you are around! That's why, right now, I'm doin' all my little Hulkamaniacs a favor, an' I'm gonna put my boot in yer face for the one-two-three, brother!

(Randy looks over his orange-skinned opponent, still posing under the hot sun. He pulls up his rainbow-stripped tights, and points defiantly towards the Hulkster.)

SAVAGE: Y'know somethin'.... I'm gettin' sick an' tired of you comin' around here, spreading all kind o' rumor about me, an' how how I'm SUCH a ratbag, Hollywood Hulkster! Today's gonna be th' day when I plant the elbow right between ya' chest, an' we call it a dayooooh yeeahh!

(Hogan, obviously not taking this kind of talk in kind, points at savage, then wags his fingers to and fro.)

HULK: Now you've done it, dude! WHA'tcha gonna do when my post-apocalyptic Hulkamaniacs run wild on you?!

(And with that, the battle was on. The two Goliaths encircle each other. They stare each other down, waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally, Savage kicks Hogan in the shin. Hogan quickly grabs his shin and hops around. Savage follows up by chopping Hogan in the chest with his forearm. The snap of flesh can be heard for miles.)


SAVAGE: Snap into a Slim Jim!

(Savage hits Hulk with another vicious chop, then another, and another. Hogan's chest turns from orange to beet red. As Hogan grabs his chest and writhes, Savage hits him with a short arm clothesline. Hogan hits the brown Earth hard.)

SAVAGE: You were never nothin', Hollywood Hulkster! Now I'm gonna do to you what I shoulda done to ya years ago!

(Savage climbs up a nearby rock, and, after thrusting his fingers in the air for several minutes, flies into the air and drops an incredibly fierce Flying Elbow into the Hulkster's ribcage. Savage jumps to his feet and postures, jubilant in finally defeating his greatest enemy.

He does not notice the Hulkster's convulsions until it's too late. Hogan begins to sit up. Savage stomps and punches the Hulk. Hogan feels nothing! He springs to his feet, andshaking his fists wildly, he marches around. Savage unloads a salvo of punches and kicks, but to no avail! Finally, Savage throws out a mighty right arm... it is blocked by Hogan! The Hulkster thrusts his hand in front of the Macho Man, and shakes his finger defiantly!)

HULK: Wha'tcha gonna do, brother?!

(Hogan unloads a series of rights and lefts on Savage, finally culminating in a big boot to the face! Hulkster thrusts his arms outward, and flexes wildly! Randy Savage takes the opportunity to grab a steel folding chair he brought in secret. While the Hulkster has his back turned, Savage strikes him with the chair with the fury of a thunderbolt! The Hulkster spins around and, piercing Savage with his bulging eyes, points at him! Savage attempts another chair strike, which is blocked by Hogan's forearm! Hogan quickly counters with another big boot, which floors the Macho Man!)

HULK: It's time to end this once and for all, dude!

(Hogan backs up from Savage's beaten body, then jogs forward, goes skyward, and lands directly on Savage's throat with the Atomic Legdrop! Savage writhes in pain on the dirt below as Hogan springs to his feet!)

HULK: Let it be known to all my little Hulkamaniacs that today, on this ragged patch of Earth, a great evil was finally defeated for the future of the world! This one's for all of you, brother!

(As the sun sets, Hogan continues flexing and posing. Randy Savage stumbles to his feet. The two enemies stare each other down. Savage limps toward the Hulk. Hogan places Savages' arm around his shoulders, and helps him walk back to the shelter they stay at.)


Date Published
11/30/-1 (Originally Created: 05/31/09)
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