Adult Haruhi

When the smoke cleared, a very startled eighteen-year-old Haruhi was standing in the hallway, dressed in just denim shorts and a bra. After a second to figure out what was going on, she let out a scream.

“Hahi!! What the hell?!” she gasped. Her face flushed red when she saw Gokudera. “Zio Hayato, you better damn well explain this!”

“Ah… er… um…” Gokudera stuttered. His own face was red as well, not by his own choosing of course. How was it his fault the girl went from brat kid to a real looker in a matter of seconds?

“You’re extremely hot, nee-san,” Masaru said. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

“I was changing in the locker room, getting ready for a game,” Adult Haruhi frowned as she saw the cannon in Masaru’s hands. She took it from him and held it out towards Gokudera. “I remember you were the most irresponsible sitter in the world.”

“Yeah…?” Gokudera took the bazooka, trying to keep his eyes on Adult Haruhi’s face. He was going to have to slap Takeshi later for making such a fine-looking daughter. “So you play baseball like your dad?”

“Yeah, in the Majors.”

“What’s the Majors?” Kiyohiko asked, the only one not fazed by Adult Haruhi’s appearance.

“Something you’re going to protest against, so don’t,” Adult Haruhi said. She bent down and looked at Kiyohiko, letting off a smile that looked as if it was stolen right from Takeshi’s face. “I can’t believe how little you were ten years ago Yohi-chan. You’re so cute!” Kiyohiko blushed furiously as Adult Haruhi pinched his cheek.

“What about me?!” Masaru asked. “Aren’t I extremely cute too?”

“You’re… just smaller.”

“You’re extremely hot.”

“I’ve gathered.”

“Nee-san, where’d you put Haruhi-san?” Kiyohiko asked.

“Somewhere in the Seattle visitor’s lockers,” Adult Haruhi said. Watching the expression of blank confusion spread across Masaru and Kiyohiko’s faces, she turned to Gokudera, who was still staring against his will. “Little Hibari’s kind of eating your arm.”

“I know; it hurts like hell.”

“Make sure Eleventh gets into Namimori with Masaru and I; it’ll be an important focal point in his further training. Keep us in the same high school, for that’s important too. Don’t come with him; Masaru and I are completely capable of handling things. Also, letting me go to America is a good thing, no matter what you may think.”

“Good thing… yeah… think… focal point…”

Damn… how did that come out of Haru and Takeshi?

“Zio Hayato?”

“Yeah?”

“Get married and have kids, seriously. You become a better sitter as time goes on and if Hibari-jiji can stay with a woman long enough to create that little beast…” Adult Haruhi said, pointing accusingly at Osamu, “then I’m sure there’s someone for you too. Try taking us on outings; little kids are chick-magnets.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I think my time’s about up then,” Adult Haruhi said. Gokudera blinked and suddenly noticed the chain around her neck that held the Storm Guardian ring around it.

“Haruhi…! The Storm…!”

“Hahi? Oh yeah…” she chuckled. “It’s a long story, Zio. Arrivederci!” With a laugh, a wink and a puff of smoke enveloped Adult Haruhi and the regular Haruhi appeared in her place.

“Hiii! You wouldn’t believe what I saw!” she said as soon as she saw Masaru and Kiyohiko.

“Oi, where’d you put the extremely hot nee-san?!”

“What did you see Haruhi-san?”

“I was in a ballpark locker room over in America!” the little girl said excitedly. “The entire Oakland Athletics were there and they knew my name!”

“The what…?” Gokudera asked, finally shaking Osamu off and allowing the child to run away.

“The Oakland Athletics! They’re a professional baseball team in America.”

“Is that a women’s team?” Gokudera was serious, for he knew absolutely nothing about baseball overseas.

“Hiii… you know nothing about the game, do you Goku-oji? Baseball players in America are all guys! They were all really nice though and said I was adorable and one of them had some gum and he let me have it!” Haruhi pulled an odd-looking pack of stringy gum out of her pocket and showed it to Masaru and Kiyohiko. Gokudera just blanched.

Playing on a men’s team and getting changed when the rest of the team are changing right there next to her? She was never going to go to America… ever.

EVER.

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A/N: nee-san = elder sister
-jiji = old fart or something to that effect
Arriverderci = good-bye