I stared at Zexion, disgusted with what he had become. I wanted to rage and shout at him, but I held myself back. That could have disastrous consequences for the others. Instead, I feigned calm composure as I spoke. “And if I refused to decide?” Zexion strode around a little, his fingers and eyebrows arched perfectly. “Well…use your imagination.” His indifferent tone of voice chilled me. “Don’t pull them into it. They never did anything wrong; it’s me you have a grudge against. So just…finish exacting your revenge and let them go.” Zexion laughed, and yet didn’t say anything. I continued, changing tact yet again, “Let’s say I chose. As if you’d let any of us go unharmed. I have no reason to trust you, after everything you’ve done. You lost your sense of morality somewhere in your life. Perhaps after Marluxia broke your heart?”
Zexion jumped as though burned at the mention of his old love’s name. “You…dare…his name?” he hissed menacingly. “What, Marluxia? Yeah, I have no problem saying his name. Although really, you should have chosen better than him. Before you…changed, you could have found someone really special. Someone like Gildas. Except…you didn’t deserve Gildas. He was…he was someone important, and yet you…you had no heart, no love…you were using him, weren’t you? He reminded you of Marluxia – that’s what you wrote! You said that they were so similar that you felt fate tug you towards him. You used my best friend to derive pleasure by toying with his emotions; you didn’t care about him at all!” Zexion turned to me, his eyes flaming the same colour as his crimson hair.
“You don’t deserve to speak like that! He…you don’t know how much he meant to me! How dare you even say his name? He deserved a much better friend than you!” Zexion bellowed. “Maybe that’s true,” I said, “but it isn’t your place to say when you didn’t even care for him at all.” I didn’t believe a word I was saying, but I wanted to anger Zexion, make him hurt. And maybe if I could distract him, Riku and Namine might find a way to escape…Zexion was right in front of me now. I thought he was about to hit me, but he flung his hand up, and sent jolts of darkness through me. I saw them enter my body with mild interest, and then…I felt disconnected from my body. There was no sudden pain, no feeling at all…and then I was flung back, part of my material self once again, and I crashed into the wall behind me. Zexion towered above me, wrath clear in his face, body, eyes…But I stared boldly up at him, determined not to be afraid. There was no way he would hurt me. I wouldn’t let him.
I hated myself. Her words stung like frozen fire, and I’d allowed them in. It’s almost as though Marluxia was a trigger, Marluxia was enough to shoot me down, and I’d had enough. I could only just control myself; I was only just about to stop myself killing her. But time was running out fast. “You wretch. You’ll learn that I’m more tactical than you think!” Naminé began to scream as I twisted my hand round and the darkness contracted about her. Not breaking my gaze from Haru, I sneered. “Your words are hurtful, Haru. Now see what they do.” I twisted my hand further, I’d had enough. With a jolt, Naminé stopped screaming. “I’ve placed a vortex in Naminé’s lungs. Soon, she’ll run out of air, and of life. And you cannot stop it.”
Riku shouted out. “No! How dare you! Zexion, what the hell is wrong with you?” My arm flung out and Riku’s head was thrown back. “I haven’t forgotten about you, Riku. You’re a good guy, but I’m afraid Haru needs to be taught a lesson.” Riku’s strangled voice could only just be heard. “Gildas… asked for it… Haru didn’t… want to…” I increased the force of my dark hold on his throat. “Don’t ever tell me what he wanted.” I was close to my personal breaking point. If Riku was to die, he was to die soon. “Haru. Are you ready? Are you ready to see the one you love removed from your life forever?”
I wrenched my eyes away from Naminé's gasping body to Riku’s blank face. He was trying not to panic; even in his final moments, he still wanted to protect me. I looked at Zexion, his still burning eyes fixated on Riku. I shook my head helplessly. “Don’t do it. Please, please don’t do this,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. “Gildas wouldn’t want you to become this…thing.” Zexion’s head snapped back to me. “How can you talk about him like that, when you never deserved him? He was a kind, loving, loyal person – he was special! You said it yourself, he was somebody special!” His voice was strong and yet kept breaking. I shook my head again. My body seemed so much heavier than usual; I assumed it was his magic.
“I…didn’t deserve Gildas. But maybe that didn’t matter to him. After everything you’ve done, you can hardly believe that you deserved him. So doesn’t that just show that he didn’t care? I know you miss him, I know it hurts-” He cut me off, his voice roaring out. “You don’t know anything about him!” Crystal tears were spurting out of his bloody eyes and pouring down his face. “I know one thing. He would have hated to see you become this sort of person…you’re barely even human. So…so just stop.” Zexion shook his head in a definitive way. “If he would hate to see me this way, if I’m not human…then one more doesn’t matter.”
Zexion focused his energies on Riku again. Riku’s face turned even paler as he clutched at the invisible hand, fighting for breath. Zexion’s face contorted in anger as he tightened his grip. And then I sprang forward unintentionally. I had been immobilised, and yet I forced myself to run towards Zexion. He began to turn towards me, surprised, but I had already jumped and pushed him to the ground before he could react. Riku promptly crashed to the ground. “Riku, run!” I bellowed, and he pulled himself up off the ground, but stayed still. “Go!” I shouted, “Just go! I’ll be fine; this is my fight! Let me do this alone!” Riku looked as though he was about to argue, but I shot him a stern look and he finally obeyed.
Zexion finally managed to drag himself up again, and threw me away. I skidded to a stop just before hitting the wall once more. “So.” I spoke calmly, as though we were discussing something as boring as the weather. “It comes down to this. You and me. Nobody else; no distractions. You have no way of bargaining for my misery now I know that Naminé’s dead and Riku’s gone. So,” I repeated, “what’s your next move?”
I stood silently for a second, magnifying my sight into Haru’s eyes. I could see my reflection, and took in my features. My hair was glowing. My tattoos had run, making it look like eyeliner-tears down my face. Everything was reflected in Haru’s eyes, the same pain, the same hatred, the same love, and yet she was able to control herself. She was able to live. “I can’t take this anymore!” I screamed, and lifted my hand up to strike her across the face. Haru flinched, and the crack was louder than I expected. Haru’s eyes opened in shock, looking down at me. I clutched my chest, gasping for air, and looked around the room, my eyes falling on…Naminé. “Won’t… let you…” Her body became totally still. She had clung on to life and… waited. Was I to go as Riku’s replica? My heart crushed by Naminé? I had no heart. I never felt any love. I was a Nobody. And now, like each of my comrades, I could finally… cease to be…
“Gildas, I...”
