It has been a long time since my last submission, and this one is for the challenge Because I'm stupid, created by PearlSky :P
I'm feeling bad when telling this to you, but it's always good to share my emotion and feeling to the others. With this way, my mind will get a little better even thought I know someone thinks that I am acting stupidly.
I am just a normal girl who has nothing special. I am not a successful person either. I am not doing well in school even though I have tried the best. With this way, I grow up and become a low self-esteem person. I always dream of something fancy, big, and impressive, but my dream has never come true, and every time I wake up, I realize that I am such a failure. I just cannot reach my goal and my future is like a mist, far and far away which I cannot reach. And, most recently, I have failed to let the guy that I love know that I really like him and has just let him get away from me and find another girl; This happened just because I did not have enough confidence on myself. I always have a feeling that I am not good enough for someone because I have a lot of not-good-things, including stupidity. When I think of him, I imagine I would be a burden to him. Just a simple thing like communicating to him, I even have a problem because of my insufficient English, so I just let him go; however, the feeling I have for him is strong enough which cannot let me forget him easily. I still keep thinking about him hopelessly. I feel stupid for some reasons.
When comparing to the others, I always see myself less than the others. So, I feel like I am not worthy to receive anyone's anything :(... This has made me suffer.
All I can do is to blame my stupidity and say sorry for myself....
Well, Im not smart, I admit it, but no one wants to be stupid; it is just because I am also a straightforward person and it is just no way I can hide it, so why not to share the emotion and feeling with others rather than keeping things for myself? It always help me feel better.
Thanks for reading :).